I’m a real Capetonian, yes, a real one. Not the kind who’s been living in Cape Town for 5 years and now they feel like they have the right to claim citizenship. No buddy, i’ve got news for you – to be a Capetonian you need to have been BORN here. No, you are not a true Capetonian if you were born in Jozi or PE or Durbs or Tweebuffelsmeteenskootmorsdoodgeskietfontein and then your parents saw the light when you were but an infant and relocated your entire family to the land of milk and honeys. I don’t care if you’ve been living in Claremont for 20 years, studied a BA at UCT, jog on the Promenade every morning and you’re a regular at both The Dubliner and Forries… it’s simple, if you weren’t born here, you aren’t a Capetonian.
So, coming from a real Capey, it actually physically pains me to say this: I LOVE JOHANNESBURG! I didn’t just say it, i shouted it…. that’s how much i love the mine dump. I generally hate generalizations, but i’m going there nonetheless… Capetonians are the most pretentious, stuck-up, cliquey, unfriendly, image-consious and judgmental group of people in South Africa. Yes, there are always exceptions to every rule and i am lucky enough to know a couple of them, but as a whole… we’re an unwelcoming bunch. I’m not even going to try and defend it or find reasons as to why we’re this way, but i’m sure it’s got something to do with the mountain.
From the moment i arrived in Johannesburg i felt comfortable. Even getting lost on the highways in the middle of peak traffic and almost ending up in Hillbrow wasn’t that bad. When i finally started driving through the nicer areas of JHB and pulled up to the Fire & Ice! in Melrose Arch, i felt like i was “home”. *groan* Did i just say that? Ok, so i might have a tiny (read: enormous) crush on Joburg and as a result am looking through rose coloured specs, but i don’t care. JHB is beautiful and so are the people.
From the hotel staff to the random people walking on the street and even to all the awesome Twitter people i met, everyone was miles friendlier, more open and welcoming than anywhere else i have ever been. It makes me feel like the dreaded move to JHB might be possible after all, even though i’d have to leave my home… my family, friends.
I do still love you Cape Town, it really isn’t you. It’s me.
Some of the awesome Jozi kids i met while i was suffering from serious oxygen deprivation:
@Sarahious What a cutie, she even got me a gift to remember Jozi by… Oh, and i also diagnosed her before Dr’s did, which means we now have a special sickness connection for life.
@kbattaliou One of the softest/kindest people i’ve met, originally from all over and has been living in JHB for 2 years now.
@JustinLeePhotos A super talented photographer and lover of tattoos (like me), he might look like a member of the Triad, but he has a heart of gold. His only fault is that he drives an Alfa
@m0zase Mystery Mo, not such a mystery… it’s pretty simple: great taste in music, brilliant sense of humour, insomniac of note, good friend, great listener and the BEST FBF anyone could ask for
@davethecarguy One of only 3 Gingers i follow on Twitter and one of the few people in the world taller than me. Always up for a laugh (mostly at his own expense) and allowed me to hide behind him a couple of times too
@QQlessPLZ Infamous, nasty and dirty Tweeter but the CUTEST dude i’ve met in a while. He’s willing to take one for the team (much appreciated) and gives the nicest hugs
@Jeemersan Fluffer for QQ and Ginger Dave, he also just happens to have the best accent i have ever heard in my life. Funny in a “laugh with him” not “laugh at him” kinda way.
@CrassTash Definitely one of the coolest mommies i have ever met, honest and a great listener. Some of the best advice i have ever gotten has come from this lady
@davegreenway Violent and sadistic dude, he got so angry that there was another “Dave” at the party that he cut @davethecarguy. With a knife. True story. Follow him though, he’s good for chuckles
@denzilnaggan Probably the only gentleman in his crazy circle of friends, and probably also the only one with a girlfriend. Regardless of that, he still collosseum’d me along with QQ, Ginger Dave and Jeemersan
@parisphilippou Hot guy named Paris, i don’t need to say any more than that… but i will. All round awesome dude, the kind of guy other guys wish they were.
@spillly Some say he is Twitter royalty and that he owns an Achaar empire, all we know is that if you whisper his name 3 times in a row you will magically transform into a hairless unicorn.
– more to come